Mothering the Mama
Happy 2020! This is officially the first post of the decade. 

I can’t believe we’re in a new year let alone a new decade! Doesn’t that sound crazy to say? 

The 2010 decade has been amazing but if I can say now the 2020 decade already feels different. And I think the reason is because it feels like the year of the parent. What I mean by that, is that this is the decade that I truly focus on motherhood and parenting.

Prior to this decade, Tater was a baby.  Now, we have officially hit age 2 and I have to say, up until now motherhood has felt pretty straight forward. But these terrific/ terrible/ out of control/ world wind of two’s is a whole different ball game. There are so many moments out of the day where I feel my motherhood card attacked. 

Temper tantrum. Well mom can you calm me down?

Not eating. Well mom how creative can you get with mealtime?

Bedtime fight. Well mom, who falls asleep first? 

Honestly it’s a bit tiring. But it’s the start of a new decade and that means the start of new things. 

Up until now I haven’t had to include anyone else in my goal planning. If you’ve followed me on social media. That meaning Instagram, Facebook or Twitter, then you know I have plenty of business and professional goals. But what I haven’t shared yet was my parenting goals. 

One thing that is important to me is patience. 

Trust me mama I know, that sounds like a curse to some of us. 

Between constant “mommy” calls, requests for toy help and demands for food it’s hard to be patient and always stay calm. 

That’s why one of the biggest things I found to help me during motherhood was my “mommy time”. During these mom craze moments I use calming moments, self massages or any type of other relaxation techniques to regather myself and the situation. 

Continuing to use these techniques and further expanding my knowledge is a critical part to my 2020 motherhood goal.

What’s your goal for the year mama? How do you plan on achieving it? 

Regardless of what the goal may be, remember to always...

Take care of you too mama,

Aysia B. 

p.s I have announced the first Q1 event for The Mama Program and I am so excited to have you there! Grab your tickets now!

One of my favorite things about social media is that they show you little flash backs from time to time of where you were at a certain time in that year. It is my absolute favorite. For me, it serves as a little progress track. Are you where you want to be? Are you in the same place? Have you improved? It truly is amazing. 

Last week what scrolled across as my memory was a blog post I wrote that served as a letter to my old self. 

What strikes funny to me was here I am 3 years later at events for moms, that I created, having them do the same exact thing. Whew, talk about tracking progress.  

When my friend Alexus gave me the prompt she wanted to give to the ladies as part of her speaking portion I knew it would be a hit. Sometimes in life we don’t look back often enough and commend ourselves for where we’ve came from. Or even use the past as a guide to the future.  I couldn’t do the writing prompt at the event (#entrepreneurlife) but I wanted to make sure it got done for me too.   

“Dear baby Aysia,

Don’t worry everyone does not still call you that. We are 26 and hunty we are living the life. Maybe not the life you always imagined we would but I promise you it’s a damn good one. I know you thought at 26 going on 27 we’d be married, kids, successful job, big 'ol house and a nice car to complement it. Would you believe me if I told you we have 3.5 of those things? 

See where you are right now in life, you think that success is measured by these things. But baby girl life is so much more than the things you possess. You had a crazy past 2 years and nobody but God could have brought you out of it. You do in fact have a bomb job, actually your dream job. You have the luxury to work part time which allows you to be home with your baby boy more. Yes I said baby boy. You have a baby by a man you’ve loved for years. And though things didn’t work out how you thought they would, you’ve got the greatest gift from it. I know you’ve always saw marriage then baby, but don’t beat yourself up about it. Somehow God has a funny way of giving us what we need instead of what we want. That little man fills your heart in a way no man could. And that little “slip up” helped you find your entire life’s purpose. That nice car, yup girl you got that too. It does sit outside a house, but it’s not the one you imagined. Don’t worry I’m still working for that. But girl none of those THINGS matter. Besides the baby boy trust me he is about the only THING that does. What matters more is that you have grown into this woman we couldn’t have even pictured in our heads back then. There are people who pay to hear us talk. Lives you are touching in ways you couldn’t even dream of. I am beyond proud of us. Girl, it’s only up from here. 
-Your 26yo self”

That is probably one of the heaviest journal posts I’ve ever written but it helped me progress check. It’s not about the things I own, the people I posses or the titles I call myself. 

This mama program is bigger than me, and that’s how I always want it to stay. When these moms had to do their own “progress check” I saw them come into touch with their younger selves and truly realize how far they’ve come. Each one of these women had grown. Not a single one had stayed the same. Many of these women realized how writing is a self care activity they actually could do and vowed to use it in the days to come. 

I never visioned this life for myself. Running a company and helping women. Nursing is my passion and helping little kids was my goal. But now I’m helping both them and their parents and all feels right. THIS is my purpose. Progress check complete. 

Take care of you too mama,

Aysia B. 

Photos by: Psalms Photography 
As a mom it’s hard to take care of yourself in general, but it is especially hard when you’re in a house full of sick little ones who are just wiping their little boogies everywhere.  Trust me, you know I mean that both literally and figuratively.  But in being the manager of the household it is so very important that you keep yourself well amongst all the cold, cough and boogies. I just mentioned “boogies” twice in one paragraph, I’m definitely a mom. Let’s head right into part two of my wellness tips for the common cold.  This time it’s all about you mama. 

If you’re anything like me, when your little one gets sick, it’s almost a guarantee you’re going to catch the bug too, then the whole household gets it and now we’re recycling germs like the trash man.  But your little one getting sick is not just about keeping yourself healthy, it’s about keeping yourself sane too!
Though the common cold is the least troubling illness one can get, it still hits our babies pretty hard and makes them down right miserable.  Then what’d ya know...mamas miserable and up all hours of the night too. This list is the all inclusive list on ways to keep yourself healthy as well as tap into your self-care something hard to do during those cough and cold months.  So here we go.

Emergen-C Chewables.  If any of my co workers could tell you, they’d happily let you know I’m always sick.  But it is entirely true.  When I first started at work I would take these little chewables at the beginning of every shift. During this time period I felt I got sick a lot less frequently if at all.  But since I’ve stopped these, it’s like every tiny germ carrier that walks into our office and coughs on me, I immediately catch the sniffles.  I swear this is not an exaggeration.  So restarting this yummy item is definitely on my healthy list. 
Peppermint.  If you don’t start the chewables and you feel the sniffles coming on, a few nights with a peppermint essential oil rub and that cold will go right away!  The best advice I could have is to hop on any type of “treatment” regimens early.  It is very true what they say, staying ahead of an illness is the best way to beat it. 
Fluids.  Preferably water or orange juice.  Water just helps your body stay hydrated and continuing to perform the process of creating new and healthy cells.  Orange juice works very similar to the emergen-c tablets.  Fills your body with vitamins necessary for great immune health.  
Rest. Now this toggles into both lists and I might as well just start the self care portion here, but rest is one of the best ways to combat, prevent or quickly rid of illnesses. Be sure to batch work any items that need to be done in the day or when you have small moments to do so because you want to be sure that you are getting plenty of rest at night.  I believe this is also one of the big reasons I’ve been getting sick a lot more lately.  

Now as I said before, having sick kiddos not only requires you to be healthy, but it requires you to be sane too. So here’s a few self care tips that help me take care of me while my little one is sick.
Bubble bath.  At the end of the day after all the germs that cover your body, all you want to do is wash it all away.  The perfect way to kill two birds with one stone is a bubble bath!  Not only will the bath help you soak away any germs but it will also relax you and soak away any negative thoughts.  My motto is, the more bubbles the more relaxation. After those little ones go to bed run yourself a nice warm bath and take that time for you. 
Walk.  Whenever I’m feeling congested being outdoors seems to help.  I can’t remember exactly which “fun facts page” I read it on, but it was said that just 30 minutes in the environment (i.e. standing barefoot in the grass) was supposed to help boost the immune system. Something about the earth and our connection.  Whether or not that is completely true is beyond me, but I can tell you from experience getting outside definitely helps clear my congestion and my mind. 
Take a trip!  Now after every cold you can’t just run and take a vacation but after some it’s truly necessary.  A vacation doesn’t have to be out in Aruba somewhere, though trust me that’s always appreciated.  A vacation could be a weekend at home with the kiddos at their grandparents, or even a mama weekend away at a local hotel.  

As moms it’s so difficult to take care of yourselves on a day to day basis.  But add a little illness into the mix and it’s nearly impossible.  In times like this, it's important to have teams and processes in place.  Trust me, you’re family depends on it.

Take care of you too mama,
Aysia B.

This post is written by a nurse and mom.  All tips are given as suggestions and from health care experience.  Please always consult your doctor before using any new medications or remedies on your child.

Fall has officially begun, and if your household is anything like ours, so have the illnesses.  Once you have a toddler it’s like preventing colds is a foreign language.  And for us, between my job and the sick kiddos there, it’s even harder to keep germs at bay. In conclusion, both Tate and I have had continuous colds since the beginning of the month. 

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. 

One of the hardest things is having him sick.  It not only changes the trajectory of any plans we had that week but it also causes added stress to me and him during the already rough time. Many times we’re unsure of what to do or even where to start when our child is sick. Well look no further mama.  Below I have given you a comprehensive list of 5 of the best general tips you can do when your sweet baby is sick. 

Here are 5 cold tips to help with your child’s cold symptoms:

  1. Suction.  With most colds the major problem is congestion.  Many parents enter the emergency room stating their child isn’t eating and has had decreased output.  When asked if they have congestion almost always the answer is yes.  Think about it like this if you treat your child’s congestion they can breathe while they are nursing or drinking and in turn are more likely to eat more consequently having more output. My favorite tool as both a mom and a nurse is suction.  My personal favorite is the nose- frida.  So many moms complain about the thought of “sucking” your baby’s boogies but I promise the filter inside catches everything and in my 2 years of using it no snot has ever gotten I my mouth. However, a regular ol' bulb suction would work just as fine.
  2. Cool-mist humidifier.  This device has many uses.  Whether congestion, nose bleeds, coughing or sore/ dry throat is the issue this can help.  Cool mist humidifiers add moisture into the dry air which can help with nose bleeds and sore throat by keeping air taken in from being so dry and causing irritation to the nasal and throat passage.  It also helps with cough for the same reasons.  With congestion it makes it so the air taken in is easier to breathe since it’s not as thick and muggy.  At my emergency department we almost always recommend cool mist humidifiers to hot ones due to the high occurrence of spills and burns to children. However, if you are in cooler temperatures the air could also have the opposite affect and a warm humidifier might be necessary. 
  3. Increase liquids.  This tip is also useful for many things but the biggest is it helps thin the extra secretions that are created when you are sick and makes them easier for your body to get rid of.  Stagnant phlegm makes one prone to pneumonia.  Also, if you have a fever your body has lost lots of fluid and this helps replace it. Dehydration is one of the main things us as health care providers worry about when your child is sick and not taking in many fluids.  Dehydration can be noticed by signs of decreased urine outputs (less than 8-10 wet diapers in 24 hrs), no tears when crying, dryness in the mouth, etc). One of the best liquids we recommend is Pedialyte in children who are younger and Gatorade in those a bit older.  These two liquids help replenish the electrolytes lost during a fever or diarrhea/ vomiting episode. 
  4. Rest.  Similar to when you are sick, when your child is ill they feel more tired than usual.  It might be helpful to allow them ample rest time which may include keeping them home from school or daycare.  If they indeed do have a fever they must stay home for at least until they are 24hours without fever, as they are considered contagious. When given time to rest the body can fight the infection or illness properly and thus may shorten the length of illness.
  5. Medications/ additives:
      • Honey. If your child is older than 2 then honey is the best “cough syrup” you can use. It is a natural ingredient that helps loosen up phlegm and prevent coughing spells.  Typically we recommend no more than 6tsp of honey a day. If this is your child’s first time having honey, just like I discussed before about introducing new foods, introduce the ingredient and then do not introduce any other new foods for about a week to be able to watch and isolate a reaction if there was to be one.
      • Tylenol. This is a fever reducing medication that can be used on babies over 12 weeks of age.  If your child is under 12 weeks and you think they have a fever (100.4+) take them in to see a doctor immediately.  The best way to take a temperature is rectally in any child under 2, under the arm in children who do not understand the concept of closing their mouth and keeping the probe under their tongue, and orally in any child who does understand the concept.  However if your child is over 12 weeks Tylenol is safe to use. Tylenol can be administered every FOUR HOURS and is one of my go to medications for cold time symptoms.  For example if you give it to your child at 12pm the next dose would be 4pm.  Below you can find a dosing chart.  
      • Ibuprofen.  Another fever reducing medication however, this one can only be used on babies over 6 MONTHS and is to be administered every SIX HOURS. Using the example above, if you give this to your child at 12pm it cannot be given again until 6pm. Dosing chart is also below. 

As a parent seeing your child sick is one of the worst feelings.  You worry about their well being and if you are in fact doing everything you could be doing for them.  One of the best things you could do for your child in addition to all of the tips is to remain calm and be their comfort.  I’m not sure about you but when I am sick I still want my mom sometimes.  And no matter what she suggests it’s gold and I’m running with it.  You have the power to be that same person with your child.  You got this mama don’t worry! Next week tune in to see how you can care for yourself physically and emotionally during your child’s cold spell. Because as we know, taking care of your child is so very important but…

Take care of you too mama,

Aysia B.

How are you? 

A simple phrase that acts as a conversational piece to many conversations, but for some reason in regards to the new mama... this piece is forgotten.

photo by: ShotbyJosh

This past week Meghan Markle was seen in an interview in which the reporter is asking her questions about the effects of the royal chair (i.e. media scrutiny) on her emotional and mental state as a new mother. 

In the interview Meghan is seen emotionally discussing how being a new mother and a new wife is hard and how added pressures make it harder.  She also proceeds to thank the reporter for him asking about her well being because no one has asked her that since the baby's birth. 

We all know the routine, honestly we probably have fallen victim to it. 

Mom has a new baby and we’re so excited to get that newborn baby smell filled within our nostrils that we sometimes forget the tired and worn-out mother. We rush in the house with one goal in mind. We race to baby and begin to take in smells and cuddles- completely forgetting to care for the mama. 

I recently wrote a blog post about ways to help out a new mother. This posts was all about making things easier for the newborn mom. 

When Tate was a baby I heard the joke plenty of times, “Nobody cares about you anymore after you have a baby”. The reality is though people said it jokingly that was the truth. People I hadn’t heard from in years wanted to come over and visit us. When they came over their main focus was to cuddle and play with Tate. Understandably so- I mean he was super cute. But believe it or not I needed them too. 

photo by: ShotbyJosh

Similar to what Meghan Markle said, when those visitors came it’s like they forgot to ask how I was, or if they did it was with all eyes on baby. Very few people came and truly wanted to know about ME. 

This statement by the Royal Princess makes me realize 3 very simple things about Millennial Mamas: 

  1. Suffering in silence is a real thing for us. Throughout the video of the interview you can see the Duchess fighting back tears so much it’s almost painful to watch. Her intention to maintain a certain image and demeanor is seen all over the screen. No mother wants to openly talk about her cracked nipples and her hating her breast feeding journey. No mother wants to admit she hasn’t felt like herself in weeks. And no mother definitely wants to admit that right now she hates motherhood. So what do we do? We suffer in silence. We suffer through the long days and even longer nights. Why? Let’s head to point two.
  2. Pressure from the “outside” is more prominent now then ever for us. Meghan Markle’s response to the reporter: “... you add this (media) to the pressure of being a new mom...” As a millennial mom we don’t only have our parents giving unsolicited advice but we have that of social media as well. On a much smaller scale we understand exactly what Megan says when she states it’s just a lot of pressure. Between the pressure to succeed, pressure to impress our parents and peers, and pressure to be the new famous “youtube mother”, us millennial moms are under a lot of scrutiny and at some point it takes a toll. 
  3. Life goes on. With a baby in tow, Meghan Markle continues to be the fabulous Duchess of Sussex that she is. With her always crisp-and-clean outfits motherhood just sort of looks like another hat she wears well. With a bag full of emotions, she is persistent with her efforts towards her bullying campaign. That is a lot like Millennial parenting. We are doing exactly what Beyonce said "bear the children then get back to business".  Millennial moms are having babies then getting right back to work, school, starting businesses, etc. 
photo by: ShotbyJosh

Being a mother is hard. It not only takes a toll physically but emotionally and mentally as well. It causes you to redefine who you think you are, changes your purposes in life and most importantly helps you find a love you never knew existed.  

The next time you see a new mama- don’t just ask her about the baby or try to schedule a visit for squishy baby smiles. Ask her what you can do for her and then most importantly, do it.

Take care of you too mama,
Aysia B. 

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